In these days of online business sometimes it’s easy to underestimate the importance of having a real, authentic connection with people.

This kind of connection doesn’t require physically being in the same  room.

In fact I make some of the weakest connections in those crowded networking meetings where there are hundreds of people milling around with drinks and plastered smiles. 

Okay, maybe this is just me (and I am willing to admit it) but I don’t find those groups fulfilling. 

For one thing the noise level is so high that I have to strain my ears to hear even the bits of small talk. 

What I like is real sharing in a quiet space.  I want to find out something about the person I’m talking to and not just a marketing message. 

I ran a monthly group for two years that provided this. We had a maximum of 15 people and we also spoke one at a time and did real sharing!

I am just about to begin a new similar group and am so looking forward to getting to new connections that are deeper and include ways we can support each other.  It’s really about community.

However, many of the people in my tribe I have met online.  They live in Australia,  South Africa, Canada and England.

We met first on facebook or linked in.  There is one woman who lives in Paris who I first met  on facebook, she then signed up for my weekly biz tips, and then listened to one of my teleclasses.

She wrote me an email recently, thanking me and we had a lovely back and forth email conversation for awhile.

Those kinds of connections are so real and really helps me to see what a small world we live in.

Here are a few things you can do to build stronger connection to people you meet online!

1. Be authentic and tell your story. People want the real you.

2. Be consistent. If you only go on Facebook one a month, there is no continuity of connection. 

3. Re-share people’s posts if you really connect to their message. That person will feel your warm fuzzies and know what they wrote really touched you. 

Connect with me even more by coming to my Free training  “How to Powerfully Connect with Your Tribe.”

If  you live in Portland shoot me an email and let me know you are interested in my local groups. 

I’ll be doing one monthly drop in and also a year long mastermind group!

What kind of connections are the most powerful to you?  

What kind of help do you need?

Do you ever feel confused by the overwhelming number of choices you can make in any one moment, day or week?  

This is the plague of the solopreneur!

Where to put your energy?
What to focus on?
Whats the best use of your time?

Here are a few tools that might help you be more empowered!

Thanks to Andrea Lee for the first two!

1.  ”Hell Yes, Hell No, Maybe”

 It is so simple and yet can really help get things in perspective very quickly!

Make three columns on your paper.

“Hell yes” are the ideas that are a clear yes and they get gold stars!

“Hell no” are just ideas that you have thought about for awhile because you think you  ”should” do them but they feel yucky and or not a good fit. These ideas get crossed off and thrown out immediately. Gone!

Maybe” are ideas to put to the side to let them percolate for only  a very short while. However, if they don’t move to the “Hell Yes” category they also need to be thrown out.

2.  ”Too little,  Enough, Too Much”

This is an especially good tool for assessing how you can move your energy for more productivity.

For the next few days just gently review the parts of your business and think about these three categories and where you feel not enough, too much or  just enough.

Where does it feel you have too little of something?
What are you doing too much of?
What parts feel they are in the perfect “just enough” place?

Make three lists of your business areas and activities under these three headings.  Look at the “Too little” category and jot down some ways to get that to move to the “Enough” list.  Look at the “Too much” category and write down some ways to decrease so they can also move to the “Enough” section. 

Notice if it’s easier for you to increase or decrease.  Good awareness!

3. Smiling White Board 

I created this tool for myself and it continues to help me stay on track, focused and helps me acknowledge what I’ve accomplished.

I have a large white board in front of my desk. I draw a smiling face on it every day before I quit work and  write down three things I absolutely want to accomplish the next day. These are things to do in between client meetings. 

As I go through my day and want to get pulled off course I make sure I complete these three things no matter what.  

It gives me a good feeling every time I can erase one off the list. At the end of the day when all three are gone I smile back at my happy face, draw a new one,  and then add the three for tomorrow.  

I can leave work peacefully knowing I don’t have to think about the next day. It also allows me to bring some creativity and fun into my work!

Which of these three ideas resonate with  you?
Are you ready to be less overwhelmed and more focused?

How focused are you in the message you put out to your tribe?

If you asked people what your speciality is, would they be able to answer correctly?

Most people stutter when asked this question.  Some answer in generalities,  like  “I’m a massage therapist,”  or “I’m a coach.”

Others rattle off every possible thing they do just in case..

When you focus on your speciality you answer in a way that no one else could.  You are standing tall in your own footprints and people take notice.

Are any of these true for you. 
•  Having so many ideas and wanting to focus on them all
•  Not wanting to specialize because it means saying no to something else
• Shying away from making a plan based on sound business decisions

However, if you have a for profit business it is so important to focus in on what makes you special!

Your speciality is like a lighthouse beam. It will draw certain people to you because once you know your speciality you can create your messages and content that is like a magnet.

To figure out your specialty in requires real soul searching.

It means you have to dig in and listen to that wise part of yourself and find out exactly how you do what you do in a way that’s your own expression. 

Knowing your speciality on this deeper level will help you to grow your business, make more money and offer a higher level of service to your clients. 

Here are a few questions to help your process:
1.  What are you “really” offering to your clients that is uniquely your gift?
2. Who are the exact people that would most benefit from this offering?
3. Will people clearly see your specialty on your home page?

Stepping into your specialty is one of the 5 steps to transform your passion into money in your business. 
Find out about all 5 steps!

What’s your speciality?  Take a stab at it and share!

I’ve written countless posts on niche marketing and the importance  of focusing on your tribe. 

However, recently I have been made aware of an equally important piece that is often overlooked.  

This is about you being authentically you. 

I’m in that “fine tuning” phase of my marketing and looking at my own message and realizing that its not all about what tools I offer.

Much is about how I offer it and what is my way of being that is different from anyone else who offers similar solutions, whether it’s about marketing, mindset, or sales. 

It’s  about my personal branding in a way, and the reasons that people choose to work with me rather than someone else.

A few days ago one of my clients shared that she had been hiding a piece of herself that is so intrinsically part of her; her spiritual background.  

Her fear was that if she came out of the closet and integrated this in, people would disappear and think she was too new agey or something.

We talked about how she could bring this part into her message and  it would make her more aligned with her wisdom and gifts. People would notice and gravitate to her because of this. 

When I began my business  way back when, I had the feeling I needed to present as  ”businessy,” and for me that meant compartmentalizing myself in certain ways.  

I had lived in a community in New Zealand and my wild woman played on the beach and my wise woman ran the show. I decided (out of fear again) that this part of me wouldn’t give my potential clients the feeling that I could help them with their businesses.  ”Get real! Business women don’t howl at the moon!”  

However, this is such an intricate part of who I am, and in some ways I realized I left that part of me in New Zealand.  One of my new mastermind buddies told me I needed to make her part of my branding.

Funny how wrong I was, and how many women choose to work with me because I howl at the moon, and in fact,  they want to do it with me! 

So- my questions to you:

1. What part  of yourself have you left out of your business message?  
2. How have you cut yourself off from a deep piece of who you are, out of fear?
3. How can you integrate this in to make your message even stronger?

I sat down to write this blog post today knowing it’s Tuesday and I have a commitment to keep!

The problem is I’m not always inspired!  

I know all the regular topics that my clients want to hear about; how to get more clients, how to price their programs, how to figure out their elevator speech, how to deal with all the technical issues, blah, blah, 

Those are all good topics, and yet they don’t get to the real core of the issue for most of my clients.  

The core has to do with emotions. Ugh. No one wants to talk about this because, hey, you are supposed to look like you have it all together. 

You go to networking groups and dress-up, put on your best smile and talk about your business as though it was highly successful! 

In the privacy of your own home you are in tears, dealing with anxiety, panic attacks and feel like a failure. 

Last week I had a new client share with me that she felt it was dishonest for a business coach to say they can help you get more clients, when in fact they are constantly looking for more clients themselves. 

She expected her coach to not have the same problems she had.

Her comment made me think about this whole issue.  She had already hired me at this point, so I  very quickly  let her know that in fact  I am not as “pure” as she thought!  I wasn’t going to put myself in a postion of pretending I was someone I wasn’t. Of course I have issues!

As it turned out, she decided to stick with me because I was honest. 

Here are a few things I believe to be true.

1. When you own a business, you never stop  facing those core issues around money, rejections, failure, and self-doubt. Never!  

2. You never, ever stop having to do marketing, selling, and bringing in new clients. It doesn’t matter what kind of business who have. One rule of thumb is that it takes a good four months before you see the results of any marketing campaign. So, if you stop doing marketing, you are going to be mighty hungry four to six months down the road. 

3. It isn’t a shameful thing to feel scared or stuck in your business. The times I have had the most issues myself, I am the sharpest in helping my clients. I have blind spots in my own business, but they don’t over-low to my clients, in fact it’s the opposite.  Not sure why, but it’s always been that way. ( It doesn’t mean I don’t offer good service when I feel un-troubled. The logic doesn’t go both ways

If you are feeling stuck, fearful, riddled with self-doubt or confused, this isn’t the problem. The problem is what you do when this happens. Some people hide out, eat junk food,  or do computer games.  This will just make you feel worse.

Here is what I suggest instead:

1.  Take action. It doesn’t matter what as long as you do something constructive from your to-do list.

2.  Find someone to talk to about how you’re feeling. Just in that process, you will shift and realize that just on the other side of the fear, is a feeling of promise, a knowing you are going to make it, a belief that you will be successful.

3. Find someone who can see past your blind spots. This is the best investment for your sanity and for your business. Once you can clearly see what they see, the fears and self-doubts will fade into the background like magic.

Does this make sense to you? Can you relate?  What do you do when you feel stuck?