Nov 20 2014

Lisa Canfield: A Ghostwriter’s Story 08

Published by kaya singer under Podcasts

photo 1 jacketDelightful interview with Lisa Canfield who is a ghostwriter and writing coach. She helps entrepreneurs, professionals, athletes and even a few gangsters write everything from web copy to books.

In this really fun interview, Lisa shares her story about her first business, which she didn’t know was a business until after it was over. Her present business she started when she was 45 and now at age 50 she tells about the legacy she wants to step into. 

Lisa’s wisdom is , “As corny as it sounds, be yourself. In business, so many of us try to be something we’re not, or force ourselves into some mold, and it never works – it always comes out false.

The person you really are is your best asset – even if you haven’t been in business a long time, you have a wealth of knowledge and experience that’s unique to only you.

If you infuse everything you do with that wisdom, and the passion for the things you really care about, I don’t think you can go wrong. There’s no substitute for being real.

You can find her at copycoachlisa.com  for writing coaching and gethipcreative.com, for ghostwriting.

 

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Nov 13 2014

Kathleen Hanagan: Love, Healing, and Business 07

Published by kaya singer under Podcasts

kathleen

KATHLEEN HANAGAN  is known as the Love and Business Sage, for her transformational work as both a business coach and psychotherapist.

She is a spiritual teacher, shaman, priestess, international speaker, and author of The Art and Science of Success, and co-author of Success in High Heels. She guides healers and luminaries into breakthrough terrain so they can fulfill their missions without betraying their hearts. 

You will love this interview. I was touched with Kathleen’s honesty and transparency as she shares her own story of beginning her own business in her late 30’s when she had three small children, and how she has journeyed into her wise woman years and now building her legacy business. 

She talks about what kept her on track, how she got side-tracked, and what she learned in the process. 

Kathleen’s brilliant wisdom for women is to take time to heal yourself. She says, “It is the most important work you will ever do, since it is what makes it possible for you to step into the vision you carry in your heart.  

When you declare that you are going for it, there will be resistance equal to the love behind your vision.  Healing old wounds clears the clouds away so that the sun of your true work can shine. “

She has a lovely and powerful meditation to offer you as a healing gift. She says it will give you the benefit of years of psychotherapy!

You can reach Kathleen at Kathleen@Turnonyourlight.com 
 http://www.facebook.com/Khanagan
 www.twitter.com/#!KathleenHanagan

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Nov 06 2014

Your Wounded Healer 06

Published by kaya singer under Podcasts

kaya at mic MOxie

This is a deep topic and it highlights the one area that holds most women back from reaching their greatness.

Through sharing her story, Kaya Singer talks about that one thing that keeps you from stepping into that place where you can reach the success you envision. There is nothing more painful than wanting something for yourself and yet, watching yourself fall apart- just on the verge of grasping it.

If you’ve started a business you’ll know what I’m talking about and will love this episode.

 

The only way to share about this is to share one of my many stories that illustrates this. ok- its a bit embarrassing to be so transparent about my mess-ups and challenges but this is what women do. Right?

We sit in circles and share with each other. So I’m going to just imagine I’m in a circle with all of you right now.

I was in Portland airport ready to get on a plane and fly back to New Zealand- my heart home, to teach a 4-day workshop. It was a big deal and I had called on all my power sources to support me in this journey. It might not seem like a big deal to you, as people fly all over the world to work and teach, but for me it was huge as I had just turned 60 and for some reason I felt more fragile, less robust.

It might be because of my chronic knee pain that was getting worse. Who knows but those olden days when I was a free spirit in Haight Ashbury, staying up all night and sleeping in Gold Gate Park all afternoon, seemed far away, like in another world.

I went up to the counter to check in and was told I was too late. They required me to be there three hours ahead and I had missed the deadline by 15 minutes. I was in shock. The man was staunch and wouldn’t budge.

I wandered away from the counter in tears. I felt like a pathetic old woman in that moment and felt I’d hit a wall and maybe this was a sign I needed to cancel the whole trip. Yet, I thought about not showing up for my workshop and I couldn’t cope with that thought either. I sat on a chair in tears, and had to make a decision. Do I give up and go home and quit or do I call in the spirit of my invincible 30 year old and the divine goddess, and find a solution. I breathed and started making phone calls to different airlines so I didn’t have to walk through the terminal (remember my knees). Yes, United Airlines had a connecting flight to LA and I could still get on my plane to NZ that night. It cost me a bundle of money to get on that flight. Yes, the goddess uses credit cards too!

While on that plane I had time to recover from the ordeal. I felt like this was a test of belief in myself and that if I had given up, it would have been a downward chain reaction. It was a test of belief in my spirit too and the power of my emerging wise woman, and somehow I didn’t totally collapse. Instead I just felt stupid and berated myself for not realizing about the three hour requirement. “How could you be so inept?” and other self-abusive words, until the goddess intervened again and pulled me out of the hole. I realized I needed to learn to believe in myself all over again.

Certainly it was hard to have that situation at the airport, but at one time I wouldn’t have crumpled. I would have immediately looked for a solution, minus all the emotional meltdown that tagged along. It had happened to me in Mexico  one about 30 years ago.  My goodness- these kinds of things happen in airports worldwide. It’s a drag and inconvenient, but not the end of the world. But I took it personally and felt I had been punched in the gut and it added another nail in my coffin of feeling like I was now too old to do this.

I had to figure out what it meant to be a powerful older woman entrepreneur. I certainly didn’t want the other choice.

What had happened is that I had an encounter with the wounded healer. In a literal sense I am not a healer but I help people via my work. The pains and struggles we face and conquer make us stronger in ourselves and more able to help others. So here I am years later, using this story to help you understand. I am so much stronger now and that woman who collapsed in the airport is gone now and transformed from the experience.

I think all of you women entrepreneurs regardless of your age, face this wounded healer part of yourself over and over. It usually appears as self-doubt and it can stop you dead in your tracks. It includes not feeling like you are good enough, smart enough, deserving enough, strong enough, etc. All those areas that zap your self-esteem and make you feel like you should just quit.

There really isn’t anything wrong with self-doubt, It happens, but the wounded healer takes you down a deep hole, like Persephone going into the underworld, and that self-judgement just makes the hole deeper and the wound bigger. Most women plummet when self-doubt arrives. It can feel like running straight into a wall and smashing against concrete. It hurts and it feels like the portal is closed to you. It can feel like there is a doorway there but it’s not yours. You have to be somebody you’re not in order to pass through it. I write about self-doubt a lot.

It’s not because I am obsessed with this topic. It’s because it comes up all the time in almost every client I work with. She is always there, like the wicked witch of the west and it’s up to you to confront her, turn on the hose, and allow her to melt away. It is one of the first things new small business clients share weigh me when they call out for help, regardless of how long they have been in business. Self-doubt can feel like a parasite that gloms onto your body and short circuits your wiring. By the way, this isn’t a comparison thing with men. I know about the theory that men tend to be over- confident and women under-confident. But women aren’t competing with men in their business, or with other women. There is enough room and enough clients out there for anyone to be successful.

Now that I am in my wise woman years, I still get self-doubt moments but much less often and its not so debilitating and it doesn’t last long. In fact, that trip into the underworld wakes me up and when I re-surface I have new awarenesses. It can be an empowerment ritual. I’ve done hundreds of these kinds of rituals with women. The only real reason to face this issue is because it will hold you back in your business success. It will keep you staying small where it’s safe. There is a big difference between doubt and self-doubt. Doubt can be good. It might truly mean that something isn’t a good idea. Self-doubt is you doubting yourself and your ability.

Self-doubt leads right into fear and panic and you might feel:
• I’m not good enough or smart enough.
• No one will want to hire me because.
• I will fail and look bad!
• It’s too overwhelming.
• People will think I’m stupid
• It’s all to hard.

Maybe you are like I’ve been and have wasted so much energy and time holding yourself back, feeling not good enough, not perfect enough, and not trusting yourself to take risks. When I think back at all the hours I wasted worrying about whether I was good enough or comparing myself to others who I thought were better, or not taking risks, I cringe! What a waste of energy when I could have been so productive in my business and doing the good work I was meant to do in the world. You might watch yourself being afraid to do something until you are 100% sure its right – whatever that is.

The problem is, it never feels right enough and no matter how sure you are, there is always someone who will not like it. The irony is that when you run a business, you have to take risks, experiment, be seen, speak out; all those things that challenge your confidence. Sometimes you have to be messy and “good enough!” Unfortunately it is a part of our inculturation as females that we we tend to internalize mistakes, thinking we aren’t smart enough or we are a disappointment to someone. This can really slow you down because running a business involves “mistakes” every day!

What I have been teaching entrepreneurs all these years is to be authentic, show up fully in whatever you are doing. It will make sense later. Because I overcame that challenge in the airport I went and taught the 4 day workshop. As a result I made a contact with someone who asked me to come back and do more teaching. Plus a couple people in that workshop hired me for 1.1 coaching.

Eventually everything you do will integrate and make you the amazing person you are. In order to feel more empowered, you need to stay focused on where you are going, keep your energy moving, and have consistency. Your emotions are important and will be a pathway to empowerment as long as you don’t crumble. Here are three things you can do when faced with any horrible situation like mine.

1.Be a witness to your emotions. Notice how you feel and say, “ah, I’m feeling scared, angry, or whatever.” Just observe and acknowledge. Your mind is also strong and caring and can help you to see it from other perspectives. You can be scared and not scared at the same time. You can have self-doubt and also feel clear and empowered. You can chose to acknowledge the strong emotions as well, and this will help you be more in balance.

2. Don’t make any major decisions when in the middle of an emotional reaction, regardless of how you feel. Important decisions need to be made from a place of calmness and strength.

3. Find someone to talk to. Often when you speak it out, in that very process, you will begin to feel stronger and in fact, get more on track. By taking to someone you will often be able to take next action steps; make that phone call, or whatever needs to be actioned that day. Besides the very act of contacting someone will shift the energy. Yes, it is possible to feel all your feelings, observe them, talk to someone, be empowered, take action, and grow into being a stronger entrepreneur. I am rooting for you!!

The world needs your wisdom and needs you to stand in your greatness.

I would love your comments!

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Nov 03 2014

Nancy Grant: Empowering Women 05

Published by kaya singer under Podcasts

02_N-Grant_1012 #2

Nancy Grant is on a mission to empower female business owners and professionals to achieve success their way. I think you will love her story of leaving a successful corporate career  at age 55 to begin her own coaching business; the reasons, the challenges, and finally successes.

She wants to help women overcome their issues around money so they can ask for what they want to receive, and recognize their value. As she says, It’s all about women’s empowerment. 

Nancy is the former vice president of a national bank, has a technology background and  has worked with small business for over 30 years.

She’ll share with you about her passion for helping women, some of the mistakes she made in beginning her own business and how she worked through them.  Nancy also will tell you about the new book she’s writing,  “Flying the Corporate Coop,” and her upcoming sabbatical to Africa. She leads a very exciting life! You can connect with her and learn more at www.nancygrantcoaching.com
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Oct 21 2014

Power and Wisdom 04

Published by kaya singer under Podcasts

Hands cupped holding a big heart. My original hand painted illustration.

Todays show is about Power and Wisdom and how the balance of these two energies are so important in growing your business and you becoming the real visionary leader you are meant to be.  

We’ll look at how these energies shift and change through women’s cycles. Both power and wisdom mean something different to a 30 year entrepreneur than they do to a 65 year old.

The show ends with some very poignant questions that will get you thinking more deeply about where you are now and where you want to be.

If you liked this show please subscribe on i Tunes and give a 5 star rating. We appreciate  your comments too. 

Welcome to the next Episode  of Business the Wise Woman Way by Kaya Singer, your host.

Today’s show is about Power and Wisdom

A great topic and so important for all you women entrepreneurs regardless of what stage you are in or how much you might be struggling.

I’ve talked a lot about the importance of being authentic- and  in this episode all women will benefit as its about having the courage to be yourself and how that will influence your marketing and your branding but most importantly  your ability stand in a place no one else can stand.

Im often asked about my story  especially from people who noticed that my branding changed in the last year or two.

Early on in my business I didn’t get what I’m going to be sharing with you today. I tried to be someone I wasn’t and as a result I had what I call, a beige message.

I didn’t stand out. I had to really dig deep inside and figure out what I was hiding or what I was hiding from. Not fun.

I guess I thought I had to look like what I thought a business woman looked like and it so wasn’t me!  I’m a mother earth goddess type, artsy, and free spirited. I thought no one would be attracted to that.

And more recently I had to really look in the mirror and accept that my hair is no longer long and dark.  It is silver now and for a long time that meant- old. Ugh. If I couldn’t accept this about myself, why would anyone else? And how do you think this might have affected my marketing and really my whole business?

In an effort to step into being more fully who I have become in the last few years, I searched for a word, the word to describe this new life stage where  I’ve landed and then be able to own this as being a powerful time of life.

You might wonder why I’m  doing this. Why not just be it and let go of describing it.  I have to do it! Not just for myself, but for all women of all ages. I’ve stood up and supported  women to be empowered and successful for over forty years.  It’s a part of my mission!

But its also for me and accepting myself as who I am not and realizing that this is actually what makes me attractive. I didn’t get it at  first but keep listening and I will be explaining why.

You might be thinking, why just women? Why not men?  I love men, but they have very different issues!  

For us women, we have lived with our fertility cycles for our whole adult life. That impacted my business decisions from a being young and saucy chick, to being a beautiful, but over-worked mother, to going through menopause and feeling like quitting, to ending up in the wise woman time of life and realizing I’ve  arrived!

Through all these stages, my path was one of an entrepreneur, and the way I ran my businesses were affected by who I was! Why? Because I never had the kind of business where people didn’t know me.  People did business with me because it was me.

I didn’t hide out in a back room while my employees ran the show. People come to me for the help I could give them. I know its the same for all of you. Its about you; your values, the way you show up and your culture. Plus my energy and focus was affected  too. Trying to run a business while raising a toddler is way different than when I was 26 and no children. 

Another thing- As women, we learn early on that we are supposed to look and be beautiful and sexy!  Smart and successful are good, but it helps to be hot as well! Sarah Palin showed us that. Hilary was criticized for looking too…powerful. What can I say!

I knew all this at age 13!  I looked at 60 year old women and saw them as “old” which wasn’t a positive adjective. They were lovely grandmas but doing something meaningful in the world? No. Those models didn’t exist for me. Zero. 

Our society still enshrines youth, and the beauty that comes with it, especially in regards to women. There is a bias toward youth in general, thinking that you will be less innovative, less cutting edge as you age.

This is exactly where I’m challenging these deep seated attitudes! Here is a bit of my own story to illustrate my point.

When I was in my 20’s I decided I would be different when I was 60. I would still be working at a career I loved and making a difference. I wouldn’t be “old!”  I thought old was a state of mind. In truth, I refused to see myself there. In my youthfulness, I  had a way of not seeing what I didn’t want to become.

I remember hearing Barbara Marx Hubbard ( an amazing women)  speak about 25 years ago. She must have been about 60 then. She said, “I have more energy now then I have ever had, at a time when the world tells me I am supposed to be slowing down!” I smiled and wanted to be just like her!

However, when I hit 50 I was grossly unprepared for suddenly being invisible, to not just men, but also women! Not being fertile anymore affects way more than one’s ability to have children. I was in grief and  attached to my young, sexy body and then I questioned my ability to offer anything else that would be meaningful again in this lifetime.

In a way I bought in to the very same attitudes I was criticizing. I had no idea who I was anymore.

Yesterday, I looked up the word “Crone” in the thesaurus and was shocked by the list of words I saw on the page:  witch, shrew. bitch, beast, old woman, battle-axe, biddy, fury, nag, hagfish, offensive old bag, slut, sorceress…

I thought a Crone was a female elder who held great wisdom and inner sight.  How did those definitions get changed and how does that contribute to disempowering women when they are actually in the height of their power? Yes- the reason the term Wise Woman is often attributed to elder women is because of all the accumulated life experience and the insight that emerges from those years.

I was recently at a gathering of 60+ women.  I looked around our circle and I could feel the deep wisdom each person carried.

Here is the truth. Yes, the 50s can be a bit hard as you go through a deep metamorphosis. But this is all about opening a conduit to POWER. It’s about preparing your body and spirit to do it’s real work in your 60s and beyond. Not only did that power emerge for me  but also an innate wisdom, inner sight and channel that I didn’t have in this way before.

I was always intuitive, but now it’s been super-magnified. As a result, I can help people in ways of much deeper wisdom. I have had to wake-up to that gift and own it.

It’s no longer about just being sexy, and that can be hard as we are trained to use that kind of energy in our marketing.  So are you seeing why I needed to say exactly who I am.

So, here is my challenge to you.

Regardless of what number age you are, you will eventually become  60, 70, and 80, so it’s about beginning right now, wherever you are, whether you are 30 or 40- to accept your authentic self and stand tall in it. 

I am a champion for all women, regardless of your age. Develop the habit of not hiding your real truth and instead look for what it is that makes you truly unique.

What do you offer in your business that only you can give? It means really searching deep in your psyche to unearth this truth about yourself.

Whether you’re a coach, healer, designer, or educator, it’s not all about the skills of your profession and your training in whatever field you are in.  It’s also about you- about who you are and what you bring that is your expression, and no  one else’s.

This was hard for me to get my head around because I was still thinking I needed to look smart and I tried to copy what other successful people were doing.

The problem with that is those people were being authentically themselves (at least some were).  They were standing in their own expression. I couldn’t be them even if if I wanted to.

If you are a younger woman in business, you have an advantage of having not as much life experience yet! You have that freshness and cutting edge that is captivating.

This means your trunk isn’t as cluttered with stuff! You are still developing who you really are so you have the gift of being able to experiment as you stand in your power. Your biggest challenge is to get past self-doubt, which seems to be the strongest at your stage. That self-doubt is like water on the fire of Power.

The older we get the less self-doubt we have. That self-doubt can eat up your power in moments.

I began my fist business when I was 26 and I felt I was invincible and could do anything. I made pottery and lugged around heavy crates of stoneware, and I knew I had my whole life ahead of me. I ended up quitting that business when I hurt my back. Who knew!

Before I turned 60 I had started three businesses and the learning from each one morphed into the next one. So- nothing is ever lost. We just keep getting clearer about our life purpose.

I talk to many women who are searching for that allusive life purpose and are in agony because they don’t know what it is.  I tell people- just be yourself and follow what feels right now. It will eventually turn into the next thing. Its like being in a canoe and going down a windy river. You can’t see whats past the next turn and you need to be in the moment 100% or the boat will capsize!

So many women begin a new business during their wise woman years. Their business is based on their real purpose, passion, and life contribution and this includes all the wisdom from the past 40  years and the amazing insight and power that only comes later.

I had to realize I had this wisdom and once I did that I  could see the thread of how everything I had done was making me who I am right now. It could be your time to create a legacy.

Inner beauty becomes the new benchmark and this requires no make-up to cover up wrinkles! It’s all about what’s on the inside. I love supporting all women to really go for it and use their power for fueling their entrepreneurial success!

You are actually tapped into to an energy source that’s bigger than you an imagine, however you need to choose to turn on the switch!

What about the outer beauty once you get older?  Of course at age 67 I still have outer beauty and if you are a 30  year old woman you also have wisdom. We both have both!  There is an overlap. But just like I no longer have the sexy, hot look of a 30 year old. Most 30 year olds lack the wisdom and power of a woman who has tapped into that power source at age 60.

I challenge you to look at your own attitudes about yourself and your power and wisdom. How much of it is affected by your age?

You don’t have to wait until you are 60 to own this power and wisdom.

You can begin the process now by embracing yourself, whoever you are and whatever age you are, by allowing your wisdom to come through in whatever form it is. It’s about  stepping fully into life and not hiding!

If you have own your own business, what better opportunity to express this with your total being.

In what ways are you holding yourself back from stepping in more fully?

In what ways do you hide yourself?

How are you holding on to something you need to let go of?

How do these things affect your ability to stand taller as a leader of your business?

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