Nov 24 2014

Giving Exactly What’s Needed

Published by kaya singer under Business Success,Marketing

Buddha hands holding flowerIt’s the week of Thanks- Giving here in America. This happens to be  my favorite holiday. 

Not because of the food ( which is awesome) but because it’s all about saying Thanks and the pure joy of Giving.

Like many holidays, it has it’s roots somewhere back in American history and is mixed up with a lot of  political stuff. 

But I for one, would prefer to to focus on the women settlers who were working their hands to the bones in an environment that wasn’t easy to survive. (sound familiar) and they were giving thanks for what they had, the food on their table and the people who were in their community.

Some of these women were dragged across the ocean with their husbands and far away from their families. So it wasn’t an easy life.

I know many of you are in a similar place, working hard and trying to get your business way past survival and into the thrive category. Right? 

I know you have so many people to show appreciation to; mainly your clients or people who follow you and your amazing work.

What can you offer to your community that will really help them  without draining yourself?

If you give too much and it depletes you, it’s not a real gift. It is a bit on the martyr spectrum.

Also, if  you give something that people don’t really need, it might not get seen.

You might still be selling something, but it’s something very needed, and at a huge cost reduction for that one day.

Some gifts can actually energize yourself in the process.
If you offer something that you enjoy doing it  has side-benefits to yourself as part of the process.

It’s like baking a pie for a neighbor. You usually are too busy to bake anything, but you love baking!  So you took time for yourself and in the process enjoyed doing something you love doing. Your neighbor enjoyed every bite!

Here are three points of a good gift that also keeps you energized.

•  You know exactly what people need and offer them something that will give them real help and  also allow you to build a stronger relationship with them.

•  Give them a gift that is so yummy that they will tell others about it too. In this regard you help them and also bring in some new people to your community.

• A gift that they might not need themselves but they will pass it on to someone who does need it. The gift that keeps giving.

Using these three points, what is a gift you can offer to your tribe this week that will feel good to both of you?

This requires you to really know your people and the kind of help they need.

Do you have any ideas?

ps. Keep watch for my gift that will be emailed out on Friday morning.  It will be offering you the exact help you need at a huge bonus price and savings for only 24 hours.

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Nov 20 2014

Lisa Canfield: A Ghostwriter’s Story 08

Published by kaya singer under Podcasts

photo 1 jacketDelightful interview with Lisa Canfield who is a ghostwriter and writing coach. She helps entrepreneurs, professionals, athletes and even a few gangsters write everything from web copy to books.

In this really fun interview, Lisa shares her story about her first business, which she didn’t know was a business until after it was over. Her present business she started when she was 45 and now at age 50 she tells about the legacy she wants to step into. 

Lisa’s wisdom is , “As corny as it sounds, be yourself. In business, so many of us try to be something we’re not, or force ourselves into some mold, and it never works – it always comes out false.

The person you really are is your best asset – even if you haven’t been in business a long time, you have a wealth of knowledge and experience that’s unique to only you.

If you infuse everything you do with that wisdom, and the passion for the things you really care about, I don’t think you can go wrong. There’s no substitute for being real.

You can find her at copycoachlisa.com  for writing coaching and gethipcreative.com, for ghostwriting.

 

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Nov 13 2014

Kathleen Hanagan: Love, Healing, and Business 07

Published by kaya singer under Podcasts

kathleen

KATHLEEN HANAGAN  is known as the Love and Business Sage, for her transformational work as both a business coach and psychotherapist.

She is a spiritual teacher, shaman, priestess, international speaker, and author of The Art and Science of Success, and co-author of Success in High Heels. She guides healers and luminaries into breakthrough terrain so they can fulfill their missions without betraying their hearts. 

You will love this interview. I was touched with Kathleen’s honesty and transparency as she shares her own story of beginning her own business in her late 30’s when she had three small children, and how she has journeyed into her wise woman years and now building her legacy business. 

She talks about what kept her on track, how she got side-tracked, and what she learned in the process. 

Kathleen’s brilliant wisdom for women is to take time to heal yourself. She says, “It is the most important work you will ever do, since it is what makes it possible for you to step into the vision you carry in your heart.  

When you declare that you are going for it, there will be resistance equal to the love behind your vision.  Healing old wounds clears the clouds away so that the sun of your true work can shine. “

She has a lovely and powerful meditation to offer you as a healing gift. She says it will give you the benefit of years of psychotherapy!

You can reach Kathleen at Kathleen@Turnonyourlight.com 
 http://www.facebook.com/Khanagan
 www.twitter.com/#!KathleenHanagan

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Nov 06 2014

Your Wounded Healer 06

Published by kaya singer under Podcasts

kaya at mic MOxie

This is a deep topic and it highlights the one area that holds most women back from reaching their greatness.

Through sharing her story, Kaya Singer talks about that one thing that keeps you from stepping into that place where you can reach the success you envision. There is nothing more painful than wanting something for yourself and yet, watching yourself fall apart- just on the verge of grasping it.

If you’ve started a business you’ll know what I’m talking about and will love this episode.

 

The only way to share about this is to share one of my many stories that illustrates this. ok- its a bit embarrassing to be so transparent about my mess-ups and challenges but this is what women do. Right?

We sit in circles and share with each other. So I’m going to just imagine I’m in a circle with all of you right now.

I was in Portland airport ready to get on a plane and fly back to New Zealand- my heart home, to teach a 4-day workshop. It was a big deal and I had called on all my power sources to support me in this journey. It might not seem like a big deal to you, as people fly all over the world to work and teach, but for me it was huge as I had just turned 60 and for some reason I felt more fragile, less robust.

It might be because of my chronic knee pain that was getting worse. Who knows but those olden days when I was a free spirit in Haight Ashbury, staying up all night and sleeping in Gold Gate Park all afternoon, seemed far away, like in another world.

I went up to the counter to check in and was told I was too late. They required me to be there three hours ahead and I had missed the deadline by 15 minutes. I was in shock. The man was staunch and wouldn’t budge.

I wandered away from the counter in tears. I felt like a pathetic old woman in that moment and felt I’d hit a wall and maybe this was a sign I needed to cancel the whole trip. Yet, I thought about not showing up for my workshop and I couldn’t cope with that thought either. I sat on a chair in tears, and had to make a decision. Do I give up and go home and quit or do I call in the spirit of my invincible 30 year old and the divine goddess, and find a solution. I breathed and started making phone calls to different airlines so I didn’t have to walk through the terminal (remember my knees). Yes, United Airlines had a connecting flight to LA and I could still get on my plane to NZ that night. It cost me a bundle of money to get on that flight. Yes, the goddess uses credit cards too!

While on that plane I had time to recover from the ordeal. I felt like this was a test of belief in myself and that if I had given up, it would have been a downward chain reaction. It was a test of belief in my spirit too and the power of my emerging wise woman, and somehow I didn’t totally collapse. Instead I just felt stupid and berated myself for not realizing about the three hour requirement. “How could you be so inept?” and other self-abusive words, until the goddess intervened again and pulled me out of the hole. I realized I needed to learn to believe in myself all over again.

Certainly it was hard to have that situation at the airport, but at one time I wouldn’t have crumpled. I would have immediately looked for a solution, minus all the emotional meltdown that tagged along. It had happened to me in Mexico  one about 30 years ago.  My goodness- these kinds of things happen in airports worldwide. It’s a drag and inconvenient, but not the end of the world. But I took it personally and felt I had been punched in the gut and it added another nail in my coffin of feeling like I was now too old to do this.

I had to figure out what it meant to be a powerful older woman entrepreneur. I certainly didn’t want the other choice.

What had happened is that I had an encounter with the wounded healer. In a literal sense I am not a healer but I help people via my work. The pains and struggles we face and conquer make us stronger in ourselves and more able to help others. So here I am years later, using this story to help you understand. I am so much stronger now and that woman who collapsed in the airport is gone now and transformed from the experience.

I think all of you women entrepreneurs regardless of your age, face this wounded healer part of yourself over and over. It usually appears as self-doubt and it can stop you dead in your tracks. It includes not feeling like you are good enough, smart enough, deserving enough, strong enough, etc. All those areas that zap your self-esteem and make you feel like you should just quit.

There really isn’t anything wrong with self-doubt, It happens, but the wounded healer takes you down a deep hole, like Persephone going into the underworld, and that self-judgement just makes the hole deeper and the wound bigger. Most women plummet when self-doubt arrives. It can feel like running straight into a wall and smashing against concrete. It hurts and it feels like the portal is closed to you. It can feel like there is a doorway there but it’s not yours. You have to be somebody you’re not in order to pass through it. I write about self-doubt a lot.

It’s not because I am obsessed with this topic. It’s because it comes up all the time in almost every client I work with. She is always there, like the wicked witch of the west and it’s up to you to confront her, turn on the hose, and allow her to melt away. It is one of the first things new small business clients share weigh me when they call out for help, regardless of how long they have been in business. Self-doubt can feel like a parasite that gloms onto your body and short circuits your wiring. By the way, this isn’t a comparison thing with men. I know about the theory that men tend to be over- confident and women under-confident. But women aren’t competing with men in their business, or with other women. There is enough room and enough clients out there for anyone to be successful.

Now that I am in my wise woman years, I still get self-doubt moments but much less often and its not so debilitating and it doesn’t last long. In fact, that trip into the underworld wakes me up and when I re-surface I have new awarenesses. It can be an empowerment ritual. I’ve done hundreds of these kinds of rituals with women. The only real reason to face this issue is because it will hold you back in your business success. It will keep you staying small where it’s safe. There is a big difference between doubt and self-doubt. Doubt can be good. It might truly mean that something isn’t a good idea. Self-doubt is you doubting yourself and your ability.

Self-doubt leads right into fear and panic and you might feel:
• I’m not good enough or smart enough.
• No one will want to hire me because.
• I will fail and look bad!
• It’s too overwhelming.
• People will think I’m stupid
• It’s all to hard.

Maybe you are like I’ve been and have wasted so much energy and time holding yourself back, feeling not good enough, not perfect enough, and not trusting yourself to take risks. When I think back at all the hours I wasted worrying about whether I was good enough or comparing myself to others who I thought were better, or not taking risks, I cringe! What a waste of energy when I could have been so productive in my business and doing the good work I was meant to do in the world. You might watch yourself being afraid to do something until you are 100% sure its right – whatever that is.

The problem is, it never feels right enough and no matter how sure you are, there is always someone who will not like it. The irony is that when you run a business, you have to take risks, experiment, be seen, speak out; all those things that challenge your confidence. Sometimes you have to be messy and “good enough!” Unfortunately it is a part of our inculturation as females that we we tend to internalize mistakes, thinking we aren’t smart enough or we are a disappointment to someone. This can really slow you down because running a business involves “mistakes” every day!

What I have been teaching entrepreneurs all these years is to be authentic, show up fully in whatever you are doing. It will make sense later. Because I overcame that challenge in the airport I went and taught the 4 day workshop. As a result I made a contact with someone who asked me to come back and do more teaching. Plus a couple people in that workshop hired me for 1.1 coaching.

Eventually everything you do will integrate and make you the amazing person you are. In order to feel more empowered, you need to stay focused on where you are going, keep your energy moving, and have consistency. Your emotions are important and will be a pathway to empowerment as long as you don’t crumble. Here are three things you can do when faced with any horrible situation like mine.

1.Be a witness to your emotions. Notice how you feel and say, “ah, I’m feeling scared, angry, or whatever.” Just observe and acknowledge. Your mind is also strong and caring and can help you to see it from other perspectives. You can be scared and not scared at the same time. You can have self-doubt and also feel clear and empowered. You can chose to acknowledge the strong emotions as well, and this will help you be more in balance.

2. Don’t make any major decisions when in the middle of an emotional reaction, regardless of how you feel. Important decisions need to be made from a place of calmness and strength.

3. Find someone to talk to. Often when you speak it out, in that very process, you will begin to feel stronger and in fact, get more on track. By taking to someone you will often be able to take next action steps; make that phone call, or whatever needs to be actioned that day. Besides the very act of contacting someone will shift the energy. Yes, it is possible to feel all your feelings, observe them, talk to someone, be empowered, take action, and grow into being a stronger entrepreneur. I am rooting for you!!

The world needs your wisdom and needs you to stand in your greatness.

I would love your comments!

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Nov 03 2014

Nancy Grant: Empowering Women 05

Published by kaya singer under Podcasts

02_N-Grant_1012 #2

Nancy Grant is on a mission to empower female business owners and professionals to achieve success their way. I think you will love her story of leaving a successful corporate career  at age 55 to begin her own coaching business; the reasons, the challenges, and finally successes.

She wants to help women overcome their issues around money so they can ask for what they want to receive, and recognize their value. As she says, It’s all about women’s empowerment. 

Nancy is the former vice president of a national bank, has a technology background and  has worked with small business for over 30 years.

She’ll share with you about her passion for helping women, some of the mistakes she made in beginning her own business and how she worked through them.  Nancy also will tell you about the new book she’s writing,  “Flying the Corporate Coop,” and her upcoming sabbatical to Africa. She leads a very exciting life! You can connect with her and learn more at www.nancygrantcoaching.com
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