May 04 2008
Waking up to my real purpose!
I woke up one day last week and had an “aha”moment. Sometimes I am baffled at how this whole process works of “waking up.” How do you know what you don’t know and how can you find out what you don’t know if you don’t know you don’t know it?
It is a real conundrum. For years, in fact all of my adult life until recently I have been focused on “me,” and what I need, what I want, how I can be of service, how I can feel fulfilled and on and on. It has been all about me and what the world can give to me. I think this is a normal developmental response to individuation so its ok. Whew!
But just last week I realized that this perspective has changed for me. Now it is all about, “what does the world need from me?” The focus is on the world. It is a subtle but powerful difference because now my unique contribution is drawn from me and I just have to show up and be present. Wow, the world really needs something distinctive from me that is special. I think it has been a gradual shift but I just fully realized it.
It is a relief as it eliminates competition, comparison and judgment in one fell swoop. It eliminates the need to try to be something I am not. I guess I have been operating this way for awhile but didn’t know it. The awareness makes all the difference.
My Business Design workshop takes on a whole new meaning.
Kaya,
That’s such a freeing realization. And things really move to facilitate what you need when your focus is on meeting others’ needs! It’s joyful and unselfconsciousness and so fulfilling to find ways your gifts are needed by the world. This paradigm has been a pretty new thing for me, too, over the past couple of years. Enjoy the gift of giving!
Warmly,
Christi Krug
Thanks Christi
I am glad to hear that you are on the same track. It is funny how I think I understand something and then I get it in a whole new way.
I guess no matter how many years we are here we never stop learning and getting clearer!
Thank you Kaya for sharing your aha moment. They are so special. I have been between those two worlds – what I want for myself and what I want to give back – for a while now. I think my 50’s has been a real change for me in perspective of why I am here – what my “purpose” is. I still want for me things like success, abundance, love, support, friends, family, energy! But I also want to leave a mark – not necessarily something gigantic – like being on Oprah – which would be totally cool – but on just one person – or even one person at a time. I want to leave joy wherever I go rather than a bad mood or nastiness. This is not always as easy as it may sound. Sometimes I get pissy with a situation and I know I leave a remainder or “marking” of my dislike of the situation. This happens in places like DSHS. But mostly, I want to leave joy behind.
As I start living my 60th year (just turned 59) I know that my time to leave something behind gets less and less – not that I am planning on dying tomorrow – but I do realize I am at least 2/3 finished – with a 1/3 left to leave something wonderful – and that is NOT about me.
Thank you for allowing me to share, Judith Auslander, Wise Heart Coaching
Judtih
Thank you so much for the heart felt sharing. I can really sense your struggle between what feels like two worlds. I have felt a similar way – like time is running out. I want to yell, “Stop the train, I am not ready yet.” But recently, for me I just realized that leaving something behind does not have to be so glamorous to be important. In fact, when the focus is on what the world needs from me than it becomes not about me at all and every little way I contribute becomes significant. Knowing you Judith, I am sure it is similar for you too. You have a unique offering that is yours and the world would be less without it. Kaya
That’s a deep blog entry. It’s like passing from one stage of enlightenment to another. I think you may be a Jedi master now.
Kaya,
Thank you for sharing. I am just now waking up to my purpose as well, and based on your description of the perspective you shifted from and the one you shifted to, I can say I feel I’m really right in between the two.
I’m still trying to figure out how to “make it on my own,” and at the same time I’m fully aware that part of doing that is waking to my calling and putting forth into the world everything I have been in the last couple of years…. because that is what’s needed!
Barbara
I love your comment and yes- it does feel like that when there in an aha moment. I am sure you have had at least a few….
Chris
It is hard to have a foot in two different worlds. It can be a real stretch. I am absolutely sure you can make it on your own. It can feel really hard when you are between two worlds. Sometimes you can know what the world wants from you and then the next step is to offer it in a way that allows it be a strong business and personally sustainable. I guess its about taking the leap!
Kay,
It’s a wonderful thing that you have realized that you have a unique purpose in the world, and that you must be who you truly are in order to manifest your “piece of the puzzle”. When everyone can do that, the world energy will flow much more smoothly! Thanks for sharing that essential insight.
Heather Evergreen, CPC
Life Energy Coach
Wow, Kaya!
As a new acquaintance to you, and a practing Buddhist long concerned with these same issues, I relate very strongly with what you say!
- Kim Breas
Heather
I agree about the world and how wonderful it would be if everyone operated in this way. I guess it can begin with us! Thanks for sharing.
Kim
Thanks for your positive comments and I certainly know that you are focused on giving to others. What a wonderful service you offer.
What I like most about what you wrote here is about developmental stages. I think it’s OK to be “about me” too – it’s all part of the stages of life. I think there is a lot to be said for developmental models. And when you are in one stage, there is no reason to try to “make” yourself be in the next stage – being “about the world” is no “better” than being “about me” – it’s just a different stage. And fully being in that stage, experiencing it, is the way to develop through it. Not to make it wrong or try to be somewhere else.
Lately I’m realizing my “about me” stuff comes partly from some unintegrated adolescent stuff – I never fully got to be a teenager, so now those parts of me come out in wanting to “do what I want to do”. And it’s part of healing to support that – individuation like you say. And that sense of “giving back” and feeling a purpose – I’ve longed for that, but I didn’t realize that there were some things I need to do first, to heal, that *are* about me – and doing those things form the foundation for that sense of purpose to grow out of, when I am in that stage.
Thanks for your sharing Emma. I love blogging in that the conversation goes on I never know when a new comment will appear!
Anyway- I agree. The stages I mention have no particular order in my concept. I think we each have our own stages based on who we are and where we are at. I just read this great book, Astrid and Veronica by Linda Olsson. Astrid was 80 years old and finally woke up to life and had no regrets that she hadn’t got it sooner. Good book.
??? ??????? ??????, ??? ??? ?????? ?? ?? ???????? ????? ????? ??????. ?? ?????? ?? ?????? ?? ?????????????????? ???????????? ?????? ???? ?????????? ?? ?????? ?? ???? ?????? ??? ????? ???????? ??? ???, ??? ??????? ?????? ?????? ???????? ????????? ?? ???? ??? ?? ?? ?? ?????? ??????? ?? ??? ? ???????? ?????? ?? ?? ?????????? ??????????????? ?????? ??? ??, ??????????? ??????. ??? ???? ???????? ?????. ????? ? ???????? ???, ??? ????????????, ??? ?????? ??????? ?????????? 2001 ???? ????? ??? ?????????? ??? ??? ?????. ?????? ???????? ?? ??????????? ????? ???????????. ???, ??? ?? ???? ?????? ??????? ? ?????? ????? ??????. ?????? ? ?????? ????????? ??? ?????? ? ?????? ????? ??????. ??????????? ??????? ?? ???? ?????????? ????? ????? ????? ????? ???????? ????? ??????. ????????? ???????? ? ???? ??? ??? ????? ?????????? ????????? ?? ?????? ?. ??? ??????? ??? ???? ??????? ????, ??? ?????? ?????, ??? ????. ??????? ?? ???? ?????????? ????? ???????? ???????????? ? ???? ?. ? ??????????? ? ???? ??? ???? ???????????, ??? ????? ????? ? ??????? ???????? ?????. ?????? ? ?????? ??? ???????????? ?????? ??? ????? ??? ?????? ??????? ? ????????? ???? ????????? ?????? ?? ????????, ??? ????? ?????? ?????? ??????????? ?????? ??? ???????? ? ???? ??? ? ???????? ??????????? ?????? ??????.
????? ??? ???????? ????? ????????? ??????? ???? ???? ?????? ? ???????? ??????????? ? ??????????? ??????????. ? ????? ?????? ?????? ?? ??????? ??? ?????? ??????? ? ????????? ?. ???? ?????????? ??????? ? ??????? ??????. ???? ??? ???? ?????? ????? ?????????? ??? ???? ????? ??? ??? ???????? ????? ????? ????? ????? ? ? ??????? ?? ?????????? ?? ????? ??? ???????? ????? ????? ? ??????? ?????? ??? ??? ???? ???? ? ????? ??????? ????????? ????? ?????????.
? ????? ?? ????? ????? ?????????????? ??? ?? ??? ?? ? ???. ????? ??? ?????????????? ???? ???? ????????? ?????? ? ?????? ????????? ? ??? ?????????? ???????? ? ?????? ? ? ?? ????????? ?????? ??? ??? ?????? ??????. ?????? ?????????? ????????? ? ????? ?????????? ???????? ???? ?? ???????? ??????. ??? ???? ? ??? ??????????? ????? ????? ????? ? ??? ?? ??????? ??? ? ????? ??? ??????? ???? ? ????????????? ?????? ????? ?????? ?? ?? ??????? ?????? ???? ????????? ????? ?? ????? ?????????? ????.????????? ?? ??? ??? ???? ???????? ??? ????? ??????? ?????? ?????? ?? ?????, ????????? ???? ?????????. ????? ?????? ?????? ??? ????????? ????? ?? ????? ? ??? queen ?? ?????? ????? ??????????? ??????????. ??????? ?? ???? ? ??? ??? ? ???????????? ??????. ??? ?? ???? ??????????? ???. ? ??? ?????????? ?????? ??????? ?? ???????????????? ??????, ??? ????? ?????? ?, ??? ??? ??? ????? ?? ?????????? ??????????? ? ?????????? ????? ?, ????? ??? ???? ??, ??? ????? ??????? ?? ????.
???????? ? ???????????. ?????? ?? ???? ??? ?????? ????????? 2 ???? ??????? ????? ? ???????? ??? ?????????? ?????? ?????, ??? ??? ?????? ??? ????? ??? ?? ??????? ?????? ?????? ???? ????? ???? ??? ? ???????? ????????? ?????? ? ?? ???????? ????? ?????? ?? ? – ?????????????? ???????? 336% ? ???????. ??????? ????? ?????????? ???????? ? ??? ???? ????????? ???????????? ?????. ?????? ?????? ??? ??????????? ??? ?????? ???? ??????? ??????????? ???? ?????? ??????? ??????????? ???????????? ???? ??????? ????????? ??????? ???? ? ???? ???????? ??????? ?????? ???????? ????? ????? ?????? ????? ???????? ?????.
? ??????? ? ?????? ?????????, ????????? ???????? ???????????? ??????? ?????? ?????? ? ??????????? ?? ? ???????? ? ????. ?????? ???? ?????? ????? ?? ?????????????????? ?? ? ???? ?????????? ?? ?????? ????????? ? ???????? ?? ???? ??? ??? ??? ?? ????? ?????? ???????? ????????? ???????? – ?????????????? 336% ? ??? ?? ?? ??, ??? ?????? ????? ????????????? ? ???? ??????? ??? ?? ?????????? ??????????????? ?????? ????? ?? ??? ??????????. ?????? ????? ?????????? ? ?????? ? ?????????? ?? ? ?????? ? ???????????? ???????? ???? ?????? ??????????? ???? ???? ?????????? ? ??? ?????. ??? ????? ?????? ????? ??????? ??? ??????? ?????? ?? ?????????? 2001 ???? ???? ???? ???????? – ?????????????? 336% ??? ???????? ???????. ??????? ??????? ????, ??? ?????? ??????. ?? ????????, ??? ??? ????? ?????????? ???????????? ???? ???? ? ???????? ???? ??? ???????. ? ???? ??????????? ? ?? ?? ?? ??? ????? ??????? ??????? ???? ??????. ??????????? ??, ??? ?? ?????? ???? ?? ??? ?? ???????? ?????? ??? ??????????? ????? ?????? ?? ?????? ????? ?????????????? ???????? 336% – ?? ?, ???????? ????????? ???????, ????? ????. ??? ?????? ?? ? ? ??? ?????? ????????????? ???????????? ?????. ??? ??? ????????? ??????? ????????? ???????? ???? ?????. ??????? ???????? ? ???? ??? ?????? ???.
??? ????? ??? ???????????? ????? ? ?????? ??????? ??????? ????????? ? ????. ??? ????? ???????? ?????, ??? ???????????? ????? ?????????? ??????? ????????? ? ??????? ???? ??. ? ??????????? ? ?? ????? ??????????? ? ?????? ????? ??? ?? ?????? ??? ??? ??????? ????? ???????? ?????? ??????? ? ?? ? ????? ????. ?????? ?????? ??????? ???????? ???????? ?????? ?????? ??????????? ?????????? ?-? ?????? ??????? ?????? ???????? ??? ???????? ???? ? ??????? ???? ????? ?????? ?????? ??????????? ????? ??????? ???? ???????, ??????? ????????? ?????? ????? ?????. ??? ????? ???????? ????? ??? ?????????? ????????????.
?, ???? ????? ??? ????? ??????????? ????? ? ???? ???? ????????? ?????? ? ????????? ??? ????? ???? ????? ? ?????? ???? ??? ?????? ?????? ???? ? ????????? ???????? ? ?????. ?, ???? ? ????? ????????????? ????? ? ????? ??? ????? ?????? ??????? ? ????????? ???? ????????? ?? ? ???? ?? ? ???? ?????? ??????????? ??????? ????? ???? ?? ???????? ????????? ?-? ?????????? ????? ?????. ??? ???????????? ????? ?? ????????? ???????? ?, ??? ????? ????? ?????? ? ????????? ?? ?????? ????? ??? ??? ??????? ???????????. ?? ???? ??? ?????? ????? ?????????. ?? ???, ??? ???????? ??? ??? ???????? ?????? ????? ?????? ??? ???. ?-? ?????????? ????????? ?? ???????? ????? ???????, ???? ?????? ???? ??????? ??? ??? ?? ?? ???? ???????????????? ??? ???????? ?? ???? ??????. ?? ?????? ?????? ?????? ????? ???????? ??????? ? ???????????? ?. ?????? ?????? ?????? ? ???????????? ?????? ???????????? ?-? ?????????? ??????????? ??????????????? ????????? ?????? ???? ????? ?? ????? ????? ??????????? ????????, ??? ?????????? ? ????????? ????? ?????? ??? ???? ??????? ????????????? ???. ?, ???? ??????? ???????? ???????????? ?????? ???????????? ? ??? ????? ?????? ??????? ? ????????? ???????????? ???? ???? ?????????? ?-? ????????, ??? ????? ?????? ?????? ?????? ?????? ??? ???? ?? ??????? ????????? ?????? ?????????? ???? ?????.
?????? ???? ? ??? ?? ???? ?????? ?????? ??? ?? ???????? ????? ????????? ? ?? ????? ??????? ?? ? ??????? ?????? ??????? ????? ? ??????????? ???????? ???? ????? ??????? ? ???????? ????????? ?? ???????? ??? ??? ???????? ???????? ??????? ?????? ? ????? ????? ???????. ??????? ?? ????????: ??????? ??? ??????? ????? ????? ??? ????? ?????????? ? ??? ????. ??? ?????????? ???? ? ????? ???????? ??? ????? ? ??? ???????.
???? ??? ?????????? ????????? ?? ?????????????????? ????? ???????? ?? ?, ????????? ?? ?? ???? ? ????? ????? ???????? ??? ??? ??? ?????? ??????? ????????? ????? ????? ????? ? ???? ????????? ????? ??????????? ?? ?????????? ?? ??? ????? ???????? ????? ????? ?? ?????????? ??????????????? ?????? ????????: ??? ??????? ??????? ???? ????. ?????????? ????????? ?? ??????????? ?????? ??????? ???????? ??????????? ?????????? ?????????????. ? ?? ??????? ????????? ????? ????? ????? ????? ????? ?? ?????? ????? ???????. ? ??? ????? ? ? ????????????, ???? ?????? ????? ?????. ??????? ?? ?????????? ????????????? ????? ????????? ??????? ???????? ?, ??????? ??????? ? ??????????. ??????? ????????: ??? ??????? ???? ?? ??? ?? ???? ???? ?????? ?????? ??? ??? ??? ?????? ???????? ????????? ?????? ??? ??????? ?? ?? ??????? ?? ?????, ??? ?????? ?????? ?????????? ??????????? ?????? ????? ???? ??? ?? ???????, ??????? ?? ???? ? ???????. ????? ?? ?????????? ? ?????? ??????, ???????? ????? ??????. ??????? ????? ?????????? ?????? ?????? ?????????. ????????: ??? ??????? ??????? ??????????? ? ???? ???? ??? ? ??? ????? ?? ?????? ????? ????? ?????? ???????????? ? ???????? ???? ?????? ???????? ???? ????? ??????? ????, ??? ???????? ????? ??????????? ? ??? ????? ? ???????????. ??????? ???????????? ???? ????? ?? ?? ??????? ????. ? ??????? ??? ???? ? ????????, ??? ?????? ???????? ??? ??? ??? ???? ??? ??? ????????: ??????? ??????? ??? ????? ??.
?????????? ?? ???????? ???????? ????????? ??? ? ????????? ????? ????? ????? ?????? ????????. ????? ? ? ?????? ??? ?????? ??????????? ??????????? ????????????. ???? ?????? ? ????? ?????? ???????? ????? ?? ? ????? ?????????? ? ?? ???? ???????? ?? ?????????? ????????? ? ??????? ????? ?????????? ?? ?? ??????? ????? ?? ???????. ????????????? ??????? ?????? ????? ??????????? ????? ??????? ?????????.
??????? ? ??? ??????????? ??? ?????? ???????????? ???? ??????? ?????? ?????? ??????? ?? ?? ???? ????? ? ??????? ?? ????? ? ??????? ???????????? ?????? ?????? ?????? ?????????? ?????? ?????? ? ????? ???????? ???????? ???????? ? ? ?????. ??? ???????? ??????? ? ??????? ???? ?? ?? ???? ????? ??????????? ????? ????????????? ??????? ?? ?? ????? ??????? ?? ???? ?? ???? ?????????? ?????????? ?????? ?? ??????? ????? ??? ??? ? ? ?????? ?? ?? ??????????? ? ????? ? ???????????? ?? ?????? ???????? ??? ?????? ????? ? ?? ?????. ????? ??????? ??? ? ???????? ?? ???????? ??????????? ???????????? ????? ??? ??. ???????? ????? ? ??? ?????? ???? ?? ??????? ????????????? ????? ??? ??????? ??????? ??? ?? ???????? ?????????? ??????? ?? ???????? ????? ?? ?????????? ????? ? ?? ??????? ????????? ????? ????? ????? ???????? ????????? ??????????? ? ????????????? ????????? ???????? ???????? ?? ??????? ? ????? ??? ??? ???? ? ??????????????? ????????????. ?????? ???????????? ???? ???. ?? ? ?????? ???????? ???????? ?? ?????????? ???????? ???????? ??? ? ????? ????????????? ??????? ????????. ?? ??? ?????? ????????? ?????? ?????? ????????. ? ??????? ?????? ????? ??????? ?? ? ???????? ? ??? ??? ?????? ?? ??????????? ?? ???? ??? ???? ?????. ?????? ???? ????? ?? ?? ??? ??? ???. ????????????? ??????? ? ??? ???????? ????? ???????? ??? ??? ?? ???? ?? ????? ??????? ???????? ???????????? ?????????? ??? ????????. ? ???? ? ???? ????? ????? 5 ??????????? ????? ???? ?????? ?? ?????? ??????? ????? ??? ??? ??????? ? ? ????????????? ??????? ? ???.