What is the Wise Woman Way? 01

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In today’s episode, your host Kaya Singer, delves into the bones of what it means to run your business the Wise Woman Way.

It begins with my own story of what it meant to feel like a round peg trying to squeeze into a square hole and now after 35 years of being self- employed I have some wisdom to share!

You will hear four main points about a Woman’s Way and how you can use these awarenesses to help you grow a strong business from this place of women’s culture; a business that will support you in your wise woman years.

It ends with some excellent questions for you to ponder. I invite you to share you own stories with me.

Huge thanks for  subscribing and the leaving a review on i tunes.

 

Hi and welcome to the first episode of  “Business the Wise Woman Way”

I’m Kaya Singer and I am very excited to launch this podcast and hope you will feel love all the shows and feel  inspired as you listen!   My goal is to transparently share everything I have learned about running a business the way of the wise woman.

I am inviting some phenomenal women to come and share their stories.  One thing about women- we learn from each other’s stories. We are all about community and  we relate to  other women’s struggles, their challenges and their successes. You can  celebrate with each person’s successes and it can give you impetus to stay on track yourself.

My wish is that you take away something special from each show.

I know you will be touched by the sharings, as much as I am, about, what it means to do business the Way of the Wise woman.

Todays episode is going to be about this conversation and as you listen to some things I will be sharing,  just notice what you relate to yourself and your own business journey. Look for that aha moment.

I love this whole topic and it has made me really search inside to  more fully understand my own story.

The short version  is that I thought being a business person meant wearing a power suit, carrying a briefcase, looking and acting smart, and hiding everything that didn’t fit into that picture.

For me that was just about everything!!  Trying to fit into that kind of a box was not only suffocating, it just kept me in a stuck place where I didn’t fit at all.

I was literally like a round peg trying to squeeze into a square hole. This wasn’t me at all and it made me feel like a fraud or like I wouldn’t be accepted. So part of my own process meant that I had to face my feelings of not being smart enough or not being good enough the way I was  and accept myself for exactly who I was., which was way different than that model.

That  model of course came from the corporate male world which is very different than the world of the female visionary entrepreneur.

I noticed many women going through similar inner transformations of trying to figure out if who they were was ok, and if they could be successful from this place of letting their hair down and being real.

It was along and windy road for me to work through my issues but once I got out of that box I realized I wasn’t alone and I wasn’t the only one who had absolutely no model of women doing business a woman’s way!

In other words, I had bought in to the corporate male model of business because that’s what was so visible everywhere, journals, books, and online. When I grew up in the 1950s and 60s all I saw were men in suits.

I didn’t know there was another way. There were no women entrepreneurs in my world when I was young child.

Maybe this new conversation about women’s way of business is a reflection of there suddenly being so many self-made entrepreneurial women who are creating there own business ventures, mostly small micro-businesses that have emerged from their passion, skills, expertise, or just wanting to work under their own values, rather than the corporate highly competitive aggressive model that doesn’t work for most women’s spirit.

Regardless of  your  reason for starting a business, this is now becoming a hot topic so I am so glad you’ve found this Podcast and  are listening today,  and my wish is that you begin to see that you don’t have to mold yourself into being someone you’re not. You can be authentically yourself,  and in fact being this way will make you more successful in the long run.

I’ve been leading local Wild Women business groups here in Portland for the last fews years  and over and over women show up and are relieved to find out they aren’t alone and that its ok to develop these new ways of being an entrepreneur and that not only is it ok- it is essential.

I’ve learned so much from these women and their stories, confusion, and struggle. I am so grateful to each of them. I hope to have some of them on this show eventually.  As I said – as women- we learn so much from each other.

I’m often talking to those women who have a business where there is seemingly not one business model to follow. Visionary leaders, people who want to help other people and make a positive difference and also grow  prosperous business.

Coaches, practitioners, writers, artists, educators, designers all fit into this category. People who have a service focus and people are hiring them because of who they are and what they stand for.

The decision to start  your own business  often begins  from being passionate, skilled, and trained at something very important and then thinking that you can just get a bunch of paying clients and do your thing and make a lot of money.   I can’t tell you how many women I talk to who thought this would happen.

Most of them had never owned a business so they just didn’t know how to do that part.

It’s easy to begin with excitement and a feeling of promise and then very quickly feel like a failure when  the money or new clients  doesn’t happen right away.  In fact, owning a business is a lot of work and commitment.

For women self-doubt often takes over and they question their ability to stand in that place- so many issues come up. Following the self-doubt comes shame, shame at the struggle and inability to support themselves or their family.  Feeling shame at feeling poor!  Too many women end up in this place. Maybe you have felt similar.

I interviewed 100 women  entrepreneurs a few years ago and asked them what was the biggest issue that they deal with that kept them from the financial success they wanted.  What they said was  self-doubt, lack of confidence, felling uncomfortable accepting large amounts of money and feeling not good enough. Women often drown in the negative side of their own emotions.

However, in the world of women entrepreneurship, our emotions are not all bad. They can often be our best friend and not something to be ashamed of.

By diving right into the core of your feelings, you will already be doing business the way of the wise woman.

Sharing your feelings and asking of help  is ok in our women’s culture. In the corporate culture traditionally  that can be construed as “not knowing”  and somehow it can  get twisted into making you look bad because you need help.

For women its the opposite. Just like women will always ask for directions on a trip when they get lost, women also ask for directions when  getting lost and tangled in  business direction and goals.

The four points I am going to share next are four main areas that outline  how women do business in a different way and the strengths that women bring.

Listen to these 4 points and notice how they make you feel and if you can relate to any of them. How do they come into play in your own business?  Some of the episodes coming up we will get into each of them in a deeper way so stay tuned!

If you are a woman entrepreneur you tend to:

1.  Be more holistically oriented and need to connect with all part of yourselves in any decision that gets made. It is counter to your nature to operate out of this circle and context.  It’s rarely just a mental process for women. It’s also about your spirt, your passion, your feelings.  Can you see that?

Theres also not one right way to find clients.

It’s how you show up and where you shine, how you are visible!  It just doesn’t work to try to be someone you’re not, and you might be like me, and have hidden the juiciest parts of who you are because you didn’t see that this is what would attract people to you. I did that for years and then I realized that all the parts of me had to show up- not just  me in my fake business hat.

2. Women need to stay in balance  This can mean feeling good,  self-care, and  tuning into needs of family when looking at any business decision. Most women don’t put their work first and above everything else. I think this is a good thing! Women see being a provider as way more than just paying the bills. It means providing for their own sanity and health.I consider my body worker as being part of my team!

Owning a business means you can structure your work days in order to be with your kids when they are little, you can hire an assistant to do things you don’t enjoy doing, you can go to yoga in the middle of the day.  Having these kinds of values  are important to women and will contribute to overall success. I now go out for walks anytime I feel stuck, I schedule retreats at the beach where I can work.  What do you do that keeps you in balance?

3.  As a women you need  to be in touch with your emotions and intuition. This part of you can be such a huge support. This has been considered “bad or weak”  in  the traditional business world, but it fact this is an asset to your business if you can learn to recognize  what’s going on and use those feelings to help you  connect with people, be transparent and build relationships.

Sometimes it can feel like your emotions are debilitating, especially when you lose confidence or get stuck in self doubt. I’ve been there over and over,  but staying with those emotions and acknowledging how I felt and then sharing with someone I trusted, allowed me to transform that stuff into new insights. This happens every week- to be honest.  As women, we have to  honor our emotions and intuition  as being our gifts.

Do you give yourself permission to listen, really listen to what your emotions and intuition are telling you? Doe sit make a difference and affect your decisions and movement?

4. Women are relationship oriented and tend want to give and receive support. We are now in the age of relationship and interaction  marketing, so its women’s time to shine!!

Social media is all about connecting and having meaningful conversations. These relationship skills are so needed now. This includes compassionate listening, offering help, building connections; all those things that are so important in running a business.

Women often shy away from writing blog posts because they think they have to sound smart and not sure what to write about.  Yuck. Its that old business hat rearing its ugly head.  Just share your story!  I know you can do that.  Your stories will include everything I have just talked about and more.  You don’t have to sound smart. You already are smart.  Are you getting some ideas for blog posts?

Women need other women. It’s a fact. Women have been supporting each other for eons,  whether around quilting bees or sitting around the fire making tortillas. It’s in our genes to sit in circle with other women. So why not share about your business and get and offer support?

Understanding the Women’s Way of business has too many aspects to name here but these  4 are a few of the most important.

You are more likely to be successful  when you are operating in harmony with your inner self and really listening to your inner wisdom.

So accept who you are, your gifts, and your ways of being in the world.

I would actually love your story and your comments as I am in the throes of writing a book on this topic and your sharings would be greatly helpful!

How do you relate to any of the points I made?

How have you been trying to be someone you are not?

What is one shift you can make?

Listen to episode 2 to find out about the 5 Steps to Shifting into a Bigger Business Mindset.

By |2018-03-15T23:12:02+00:00October 1st, 2014|Podcasts|1 Comment

One Comment

  1. Jocelyn October 28, 2014 at 9:22 pm

    I too used to think that I had to act like a corporation to be in business. Instead .. what I have learned is that the more I am myself .. quirks and all … the more my business thrives and I thrive!

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